Parenting Confessions of a Cheekiemonkie Dad

Being a Dad is the most amazing title that I hold. But sometimes being a Parent just does not turn out the way I intended, especially when projectile vomit and spilled milk on freshly mopped floors are involved.

I strive to be the perfect Parent, but I am only human. More accurately, I am a guy. Yes, that minor detail inadvertently hinders my efforts to earn the accolade of 'Parent of the Year'.

Because there are things that I must do, short-cuts that I must take in order to get through my days as a parent. But that's okay, at least we are all still happy.

And alive.

1. I throw away most of the monkies' school artwork because they are taking up too much space in the house. BUT I have kept every single Father's Day and Birthday cards that they have made for me.

2.  I hate reading bedtime stories because they are fundamentally boring. Like, mind-numbing. I only do it because I know I have to. And sometimes, I just let them fall asleep watching TV.

3. Regarding the weekly allowance their grandparents give them which they pass to me for safekeeping until we get home, I sometimes forget and spend it. But I mostly return it to them - when they remind me.

4. I eat the sweets and chocolate from the birthday goodie bags they receive from their classmate's birthday celebration. And then I say the ants ate them.

5. I know which monkie is responsible for smearing boogers on the wall.

6. I have secretly thrown out some of their toys that I just did not like.

7. I love all of them equally, but I do have a favorite monkie. Just that it changes by the day, depending who is more obedient.

8. I fart in public and politely blamed them when they were babies.

9. I love watching them when they are sleeping.

10. I sneak them kisses while they are asleep and hold my finger up to their noses to make sure they are breathing. I wonder if that will be creepy when they turn 18.

11. Sometimes, instead of playing with them, I pretend to be watching them but instead I am on the computer or smartphone.

12. I have ever lied about their ages so that I can score that 1-for-1 offer at the movies.

13. I use the monkies as a convenient excuse to get out of things - kids-are-too-tired is always a winner.

14. I fret over their future, and wonder what kind of persons they will turn out to be.

15. They are the light of my life. I am terrified that I will not be theirs one day.


Do you have your own parenting confession to make? Share it with me in the comments below!